(continued from Part 3)
Are we still within 24 hours? Well, assuming Jesus heard of John's death in the early afternoon the day before (kind of an arbitrary guess, but reasonable when you consider that the disciples' concern about food would probably have come up around lunchtime, not dinner, if they had crossed the lake in the morning), then yes, this would still be within 24 hours - in fact, it’s just after dawn of the following day.
At this point, it would probably be more effective just to read John 6:25-70, because though Matthew and Mark generically talk about how the crowds gathered, John is the only book which talks about what the discussion at the time was actually about. Plus, I myself don't understand the significance of everything he says in this passage, so it would be better to see it all for yourself. But basically, Jesus is doing his best to convince people that yes, he does want the people to come to him and be fulfilled, but no, his main purpose is not to provide the people with material things. He provides them with a much different picture of what his purpose is - telling them straight up "I'm not going to let you make me king. In fact, I'm giving myself to you to eat - only then will you never go hungry."
Strange? Definitely. And many people turn away at this point. They were looking for a Messiah that did what they wanted - when this Jesus turned out to be radically different, and even weird, when they realized that they had been let down, they instantly dropped their enthusiasm and deserted ship.
Imagine the stress of this moment. All Jesus was trying to do was to tell people the truth, to tell people what was really good for them, what would save them... but rather than finding hopeless people and giving them hope, all he seemed to do was take mobs of extremely hopeful people and make them turn away in hopelessness. Some success THAT was. After the months, the years perhaps, of gathering followers, of speaking to crowds, of being loved by the people, he decides that instead of doing the temptingly glamorous thing (becoming political ruler), he would stick to his main purpose - and he lost many of his devoted followers. His very purpose was to bring people to God - but by living out that purpose, he turned people away. Maybe he knew that would happen. Maybe he came to terms with the fact that this would have to play out that way. But he loved these people, and to see them turn away from such a direct offer of life and relationship would have deeply saddened him. You can feel the hurt in Jesus' voice as he turns to his twelve "most loyal" ones and asks "You do not want to leave too, do you?"
"Most loyal" ones, eh?
The ones who cared more about their own time alone than about the masses of people looking for hope?
The ones who screamed in terror when Jesus approached them?
The ones who let the fear of waves overcome the trust in their Lord?
The one who, Jesus knew, would turn Jesus over to those who wanted to kill him, in the most stressful 24 hours of his life?
Jesus must have felt so incredibly lonely at that point. Before, when he wanted to be alone, he was faced with multitudes of people who needed him. Now, when he desperately wanted to see people come to him, he saw them all turn away - the only ones left were cowardly and untrustworthy. As he asked, "You do not want to leave too, do you?" it's almost like he expected them to walk away as well.
But I'm sure Jesus found solace in this:
"Simon Peter answered him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God'" (John 6:68-69)
Are we still within 24 hours? Well, assuming Jesus heard of John's death in the early afternoon the day before (kind of an arbitrary guess, but reasonable when you consider that the disciples' concern about food would probably have come up around lunchtime, not dinner, if they had crossed the lake in the morning), then yes, this would still be within 24 hours - in fact, it’s just after dawn of the following day.
At this point, it would probably be more effective just to read John 6:25-70, because though Matthew and Mark generically talk about how the crowds gathered, John is the only book which talks about what the discussion at the time was actually about. Plus, I myself don't understand the significance of everything he says in this passage, so it would be better to see it all for yourself. But basically, Jesus is doing his best to convince people that yes, he does want the people to come to him and be fulfilled, but no, his main purpose is not to provide the people with material things. He provides them with a much different picture of what his purpose is - telling them straight up "I'm not going to let you make me king. In fact, I'm giving myself to you to eat - only then will you never go hungry."
Strange? Definitely. And many people turn away at this point. They were looking for a Messiah that did what they wanted - when this Jesus turned out to be radically different, and even weird, when they realized that they had been let down, they instantly dropped their enthusiasm and deserted ship.
Imagine the stress of this moment. All Jesus was trying to do was to tell people the truth, to tell people what was really good for them, what would save them... but rather than finding hopeless people and giving them hope, all he seemed to do was take mobs of extremely hopeful people and make them turn away in hopelessness. Some success THAT was. After the months, the years perhaps, of gathering followers, of speaking to crowds, of being loved by the people, he decides that instead of doing the temptingly glamorous thing (becoming political ruler), he would stick to his main purpose - and he lost many of his devoted followers. His very purpose was to bring people to God - but by living out that purpose, he turned people away. Maybe he knew that would happen. Maybe he came to terms with the fact that this would have to play out that way. But he loved these people, and to see them turn away from such a direct offer of life and relationship would have deeply saddened him. You can feel the hurt in Jesus' voice as he turns to his twelve "most loyal" ones and asks "You do not want to leave too, do you?"
"Most loyal" ones, eh?
The ones who cared more about their own time alone than about the masses of people looking for hope?
The ones who screamed in terror when Jesus approached them?
The ones who let the fear of waves overcome the trust in their Lord?
The one who, Jesus knew, would turn Jesus over to those who wanted to kill him, in the most stressful 24 hours of his life?
Jesus must have felt so incredibly lonely at that point. Before, when he wanted to be alone, he was faced with multitudes of people who needed him. Now, when he desperately wanted to see people come to him, he saw them all turn away - the only ones left were cowardly and untrustworthy. As he asked, "You do not want to leave too, do you?" it's almost like he expected them to walk away as well.
But I'm sure Jesus found solace in this:
"Simon Peter answered him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God'" (John 6:68-69)
To this, Jesus responds "Have I not chosen you, the Twelve?" In other words, "I knew what I was doing." Sure, these are plain, unrefined, cowardly, untrustworthy people - but that's all Jesus needed. Just as he only needed a small packed lunch to feed thousands of hungry followers. When God is involved, your perspective totally changes.
And you know, I think that's how Jesus was able to make it through this stressful 24-hour period. After hearing about his friend and supporter's death; empathizing with his tired disciples and with crowds searching for hope; resisting the temptation to take the time alone to grieve right away; organizing thousands of people into small groups; somehow distributing thousands of meals from a single serving; learning that people were about to force him into the role of king; pulling an all-nighter; seeing his most trusted followers cower in fear; trying to explain his purpose to people who wanted to fit him in their own little box; watching people turn away from the truth; and knowing that one of his disciples would eventually betray him - through all that, he had his perspective right. He knew what was important in the end - that not much was needed to get him through incredibly heavy stress. The "small" things - his night of prayer (although that was, admittedly, not exactly "small"), Peter's confession of faith, the opportunity to teach - these made it all worth it. These gave him the strength to endure. Because with God in the picture, even the small things can make all the difference. The single serving of bread and fish made up for the masses of hungry people - because they were dedicated to God, and God knows how to multiply. A few uncultured and weak disciples made up for the masses that turned away - because they were dedicated to God, and would later be used to change the world.
Does believing that Jesus faced stress like this make him somehow less dependable? By no means. If anything, it makes him more dependable - if he remained true to his mission in the face of this unbelievable stress, it means that he understands what we go through. It means he knows our stress, and also knows how to handle it; and as we get to know him more, we'll learn from him how to handle it better too. God wants us to be more like himself, more reflective of who he is in every way - including dealing with stress.
Again, this is largely my own interpretation. I don't know if these all happened in a 24-hour period, and I definitely don't know if Jesus reacted the way I said he did most of the time. And it's also possible that you don't believe any of this happened at all, or at least, that the stories were tampered with and exaggerated. But at the very least, I hope this made you view stress, and Jesus, in a new way.
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